Thursday, January 22, 2009

really, really, old poem

Nap-Time Silences
I find myself in envy of myself
A diamond in the mud
Or bullfrog
The slurp of the slop holding me down
I’m pressed
I think I know it all
I pretend
To love
To hate
To care
To not
Shadows of the past play hopscotch in my heart
I forgive
I never forget
I’m abused
Spoiled by my own intent
I’m mean
An undeserving child of the king
Too nice
Too smart
Too dumb
Too obscene
They come to me -- the children
To ring my body dry
A dirty dishrag, the song explains
Is always chosen last
They pinch
They fight
They slime
They snot
They puke
They pull
But their cuddles solve a lot
I get angry
When I shouldn’t
And not enough
My brain has been patty caked away
And summer is left to start
My thoughts are playdoh in their hands
My dreams the sand between their toes
Surrounded yet I feel so alone
The princess has her sister, her friends, and her love
The queen upon her throne
I, the ugly step sister wait in the chamber to be summoned alone
The spider knows my fear
I want
I need
The key word in my plans
I know nothing about
I wait for fulfillment
Hark -- a song I must sing along
No matter the lies it tells
A lullaby without words will send us all to hell
It’s a sin to seek your future
From the devils luring lair
A desert mile, a mountain steep
Tempt me to follow suit
A thousand miles or only two,
It’s all the same to me
Waiting for my prince charming
To come for ME
But Lord knows the Prince of Peace will do

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