blah

Gray days in my heart

When I miss the bright days

And want to run away

Maybe get lost here

When what I need to do is focus on this

I am stuck in the tension of this week...
I always suck at transitions
Especially birthday week

I want to be so much more
I can't stop dreaming about a future
catching babies
raising babies
traveling
Planting myself firmly in the soil of Holland

There is so much in my way it seems
but if it wasn't meant to be I'd like to think the Lord would take the desire away...

and

If it is meant to be... wouldn't He tear the walls down?


I think it is time for a bubble bath and a nap

Bummed...

Sometimes I wish things were different...

that I didn't have to work
that I didn't have to go to school
that I could just go to school
that I could just work
that I didn't have to miss out on doing things
that I didn't have to say "Yes"
that I didn't have to say "No"

Just feeling sorry for myself for not being able to do something due to life circumstances...

both my fault and not





Ok... all done feeling bummed... back to living life!