Monday, February 17, 2014

February update

It's probably not a good thing but I'm practically vomit in my mouth shaky nervous for a few of my midwifery colleagues who are taking the NARM exam this week. I'm nervous for them... I know how important dreams are. 

As for an update on me, honestly I'm struggling. Life is gonna be different in 56 days, so many things are up in the air, and it's almost March. It feels like I'm treading water, kicking hard to stay afloat and sometimes going under for a moment too long, lungs burning and then having to take a giant stinging breath, not knowing when I'll surface again. 

I'm learning a lot, I'm excited and have so much happy in my life but there is fear and grief too. So many big feelings that I feel like a toddler trying to work it out. Im learning to trust and to discern and to love and be loved. 

I'm holding on and I'll keep kicking my feet for as long as I can. 

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