Tuesday, January 07, 2014

Happy place...

The shores of Lake Michigan, the copper-bottomed clear water of Presque Isle, the porch swing of a children's home in Guatemala. Being surrounded by the concrete walls of a church in the Philippines, the holy moment as a baby emerges and takes it's first breath, the sacred space of the head squeeze, wrapped in the love of a friend's hug, trust. Walking into the unknown with head held high. Bravery of others trickling down. The dusty earth caking my riding boots, the wind. A chapel surrounded by a stained glass cloud of witnesses. Miracle babies. 
Words spoken and written, giant bathtubs filled to the brim with bubbles, the sweet smell of a sweaty baby head laying on my chest, wrapped in soft colors. laughter, dancing with abandon, the rare runner's high, Tires. Slurpees on a hot summer's day, tears, prayer-answered, unanswered, and unspoken, a church organ, the drum beat, naps in the sunshine, warm rains. Singing loud. The weight of mercy. The depth of grace. 

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

2014

I'm ready to see what this year brings. I'm excited and a tiny bit scared, but ready. I'm so blessed to be covered in love and prayers and surrounded by cheerleaders. 

Here is a glimpse of 2014 "bucket list"

2014 Bucket List

Write more 
Blog more 
Be intentional 
Serve our clients with wisdom and love
Keep up with Brandy on a run 
2nd goal weight by summer 
3rd goal weight by end of year 
Half Marathon 
First pedicure 
Kayak 
Dance class 
Go dancing 
Karaoke Bar with friends (for my birthday maybe) 
Go to the Dentist 
Go to the Beach often 
Holland
Ski/snowboard 
Maintain $1,000 in savings 
Marquette 
Canter 
Do 300 set with 15lb weights
Be happy (live fully) 
Participate in an Extreme trail race 
Camp in a tent 
Try Aerial arts 
Overnight in Chicago (to watch graduation online and see Wendy off to FL) 
Do 5 Handstand push ups 








2013


There are no words to describe this year, but I'll try anyways. Friendship, love, change, growth, wonder, birth, babies, running, tired, strong, adventure, laughter, tears, brave... Life will never be the same. Welcome 2014. I'm ready. 

























Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Sometimes... (Goodbye bogie)

Sometimes a new life takes it's first breath in your hands and sometimes an old soul's final breath happens in your hands. Both moments are sacred, holy, beyond words. 


My heart is sad tonight for the loss of a friend who loved unconditionally, who saw the world through physically blind eyes but trusted and adapted with a gentle spirit. My heart is sad for his human who loved him and had to make a hard decision. My heart is grateful for a kind vet and a God that promises that we never leave his hands even if it hurts. Even if it sucks. Even if it's hard. <3 
Thank you Bogie, Rest in peace, you are loved. 

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

It's a _______ life!

Weird
Amazing
Terrifying
Joyfull
Full
Sleep deprived
Life giving
Blessed 

Monday, November 18, 2013

50

I have witnessed 50 babies enter the world and cry out using their wet lungs for the first time. 50 holy moments where heaven touched earth and families were made. And oh how my heart sings! 

The magnitude of this job is indescribable. The honor of entering into the sacred and being trusted to hold the space. Meconium and blood, vomit and bile, tears and waters.  I am so blessed.

Today as baby #50 inched her way past the perineum into my waiting hands,  The Boss' eyes met mine and we smiled. I remembered my first births, watching the senior apprentice and The Boss share that same look and smile, the knowing that the baby was coming, the excitement. I remember waiting for the day that it would be my turn. 

What a wild ride! Now as we count down births until The Boss heads off on a new adventure,  I am stuck in the bittersweet. I'm so proud of her and excited for her but am going to miss her. Like the song says "you're gonna miss this" I'm gonna miss sharing these sticky, sweaty, wet, tired, laughter, miracle filled days with her across the birth pool. 

What an adventure this life has turned out to be and so full of gifts each day. Powerful. Holy. Friendship. "The rabbi" may be leaving for a while but she has blessed me with a circle of friends I will forever thankful for (you know who you are and thank you for your friendship I am so lucky you guys have taken me into your circle) and will be leaving me "covered in her slime". (Backstory here http://courtneyblackwell.blogspot.com/2013/02/dust.html?m=1) 

Monday, November 11, 2013

Remembering

A year ago I remember going to work with a sound boom looming over my head, a producer and camera woman following me around, a mama working hard to meet her first baby, a mouse...

My first 4 handed catch. Posterior baby girl froggy jumped through my hands onto her mothers chest. I was grateful that more experienced hands were holding on too and the sound guy cried. 

That night is one of the gifts that I claim as I read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. (For many reasons but It also gave me Jill)  

So much has changed, so much has grown, but one thing remains the same. I was born for this amazing, powerful, holy work, where heaven meets earth in a moment and much is entrusted into these hands. 

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Update

I've really been slacking on the blog lately. It's nearly November! This summer was amazing! I ran in 3 races, rode a motorcycle, had my first solo catch, spent a week supporting a friend as she made a choice that changed everything, laughed, cried, kayaked in the fall colors, rode horses, lived. I'm equal parts excited and terrified about what the next coue months will hold. 

Ride

Zip up the jacket
Pull on the boots
Chin strap of helmet fastened securely 
The rumble as I take a seat and hold on
eyes closed tightly as we pull into traffic
Open your eyes I say to myself 
Feel and see what alive is
Trust and a bit of crazy rolled into one 
The wind through my hair 
The dopey smile plastered in my face. 
Sometimes it's not enough to mearly survive but to hold on tight and ride. 



Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Grateful....

Grateful For friendships deep and many God has placed in my life
For friends who 
share their stories
Their homes
Their babies
Their dogs
Their cars
Their books
Their hands
Their husbands when you lock your keys in your car for the hundredth time.
Their Knowledge
Their Ponies
Their sermons 
A cup of tea
A hug
Chocolate and rescue remedy 
For friends who push me harder than I think I can go
For friends willing to kick my butt 
To encourage
To inspire
To teach
For friends that are honest even when it hurts
For friends that share 
Their time
Their words
Their love 

Grateful that i have a God that knows exactly what he's doing even when I second guess, even when I stand trembling in fear, even when I fall.

Grateful for his agape love and blessings and promises especially when I struggle with accepting them. For mercy and grace and glimpses of "on earth as it is in heaven"