Friday, December 31, 2010


Because I am terrible at resolutions I thought I would spread them out over the year…


  • Begin the semester well
  • begin habit of working out
  • grow savings
  • focus
  • begin habit of spending 15-30 min in prayer room daily
  • begin search to connect to a local Holland church


  • Write a novel
  • Read every verse that mentions “love” in the Bible
  • work on loving deeply
  • attend job fair


  • Turn 23 and go to “On the Border” Restaurant to remember the beauty of friendship
  • Celebrate and remember Guatemala
  • read about serving in bible
  • Go Up North for break


  • have an idea for a job after graduation
  • stay connected to friends
  • have baby blanket finished


  • Graduate
  • have a place to live and be good with whatever and wherever it is
  • Read about God as provider


  • work hard and cheerfully at whatever job I have
  • Begin saving to take in foster baby
  • Begin Doula training


I think 6 months is enough for me for now… I am working on living in the moment and not worrying about the future too much… I don’t know where or what I will be doing after graduation, but I have figured out that as long as I remember that I am loved, valuable, worthy and created in the image of God I will have shalom.



Adios to a year of… 


Exploring new places (Guatemala)

014 (7) 047 (4) 









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Love and painful loss

  021 (3)


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Pets old (RIP Peaches) and New

 037 (4)



  Learning and focus for the future


Saturday, November 13, 2010

From Prayer wall to arms…



List lady Katie’s baby spent some time at my house today. he got lots of lovin’ and snuggles!

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Did some cheering for the Dutchmen!


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and made my heart happy :)



Thank you Katie!


Monday, November 08, 2010


I really stink at blogging lately!

Here are some updates

  1. Classes are scheduled
  2. I made some things in ceramics that actually look like they are supposed to.
  3. I am working a lot and baby sitting a lot :)
  4. I met sweet baby Gabe and had a bit of déjà vu and had to hold back from crying (especially after his oldest brother was telling me about the lady that cried at Toy Story 3 (I did too!) He is so funny and smart.)
  5. God is really working on me in some areas and it is good
  6. Everyone needs to read Bittersweet by Shauna Niequest
  7. I went to a midwife conference and it was awesome!


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Monday, October 18, 2010

My prayer…

Isaiah 43:1-4:mackinac 058
But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

         I have summoned you by name;

                                         you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel,

                                                                         your Savior…

Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you…”

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

         I have summoned you by name;

                                         you are mine.




Wednesday, October 13, 2010


So I stink at updating the blog lately, but besides work and school I have not had too much to blog about.

This school year is going alright. My classes are pretty low key and I am working a lot so the bank account is happy (in between payments of bills of course). I am babysitting like mad too, so there is a lot of baby love in my life.

I am trying not to be too apprehensive about the future and trying not to get anxious about having everything planned out. I am taking it as it comes and hopefully will be employed in a field I fit into soon.

I am still mourning over losing “my” baby, Isabella as well as for the 14 other children in Guate who are returning to their families. I think about the Fundoninos kids a lot.

Hope is not doing a trip to Guate this year so I am trying to figure out if and when I can return there.

People have been asking what I want to do after graduation in a few short months… I am not sure… I think I would like to be working for a non-profit with children as well as begin training for doula certification so I can have a more active role in labor support. I would love to be bale to move into a place of my own or with a roommate. I love my family, but I long to be real grown-up.

I am looking forward to the Fall Michigan Midwife Association conference in a couple of weeks, and am very relieved to have the cash set aside for it. I am really hoping to do better this year at being more outgoing and comfortable there, since I have an idea of how it works this time. I am so grateful for the relationships with birth workers I have begun to develop.

This weekend is Fall Break and I will be headed back home for a couple of days… I am hoping to catch at least on birth cause the bug is biting hard!

I am doing alright… but please keep me in your prayers as I navigate the turbulent waters of senior year.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Broken and Beautiful…

My heart is broken and restored at the same time…
The Lord has given life to a sweet little boy on this day of Peace. Strong lungs and a thick head of hair. Ready to face surgery tomorrow to repair a hole in his spine
I cannot find the peace in the reunification of a baby, who was abandoned at the hospital, nameless, motherless,
Who became loved, named and cherished
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Is going to live with the very one who left her…
Guatemala 501 Guatemala 534 IMG_1338Guatemala 491
forgiveness is hard sometimes….
peace is hard sometimes….
Lord Bless, Isabella Esperanza Maria
Continue to be our “oath and hope in this sea of bitterness”

Tuesday, August 03, 2010


My Guatemalan Princess…

as the first one to hold her upon her arrival at Fundaninos from the hospital she is a part of my life forever, My sweet Isabella Esperanza Maria then…
and Now…
new isa
Come on Guatemala…
open international adoption back up! I want to bring MY baby HOME!!!!

Thursday, June 17, 2010