Peace...

 If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.  

~Mother Teresa

September 21st is known as International Day of Peace. It was established by a United Nations resolution in 1981, "Peace Day should be devoted to commemorating and strengthening the ideals of peace both within and among all nations and peoples…This day will serve as a reminder to all peoples that our organization, with all its limitations, is a living instrument in the service of peace and should serve all of us here within the organization as a constantly pealing bell reminding us that our permanent commitment, above all interests or differences of any kind, is to peace"  

Peace day is an important day in my book, a day to unite and make strides towards peace within the world, our cities, our neighborhoods, our families and our homes, but September 21st holds a special place in my heart for a few other reasons. 

September 21st 2010

 "The Lord has given life to a sweet little boy on this day of Peace. Strong lungs and a thick head of hair, ready to face surgery tomorrow" -ckb 2010

Sweet baby Gabe is two! A walking, talking, bright eyed and funny little person. My heart overflows with love for his sweet family, and with gratitude to my amazing God. 

Gabe's Poem

(written on his first birthday)

Ask me what peace is and I will tell you

Peace is the Steady Beat hiding behind the whooshing sounds 

Peace is Faith beyond what the tests reveal

Peace is found in prayers full of tears 

Peace is the sound of that first squealing cry

Peace is in healing and heading home

Peace is Hope at each small twitch of little feet

Peace is the feeling of you in my arms for the first time

Peace is that sweet baby smell I can never seem to get enough of

Peace is the power of seeing you stand

Peace is the blessing of watching you grow

Peace is what I feel holding you tonight, 

one year later

bigger 

stronger

Peace is a toddler who rests deeply

unaware of the tears that glisten in sun-bleached hair

who still (barely) fits in my lap.

To read more about the amazing Gabe click here 

*****

September 21st 2010 

"I cannot find the peace in the reunification of a baby, who was abandoned at the hospital, nameless, motherless, who became loved, named and cherished..." -ckb 2010

September 21st also reminds me of how sometimes finding peace with a situation can be tough. My heart was broken two years ago by the fb message telling me that my baby would never be mine. 

I have come a long way since then, my heart still feels the connection to her, and sometimes my arms still ache to hold her close and feel her tiny heart beat against my chest. But, I am finding the peace that I could not find two years ago. I am holding tight to the promises of the God who is holding her. 

and although the image brings tears to my eyes and a hurt deep in my soul, I can almost picture her, two years old, spunky and sweet, long jet-black hair, piercing auburn eyes, laughter like sunshine... Running into her mother's arms.

“When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” 

― Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

What life looks like these days...

I am feeling extra blessed today after a couple hours of sleep. This week was crazy busy! 

I filled in for a friend with one of her postpartum doula clients. (click for definition of postpartum doula)  "Boss" is a sweet little boy with amazing facial expressions! I enjoyed hanging out with him in the wee hours of the morning.

We had a few births recently, 3 beautiful baby girls and 3 strong and amazing mamas. I am still reeling and writing birth stories in my private journal. 

Along with the new life, came a  final goodbyes this side of heaven as my cousins lost a grandmother. Please keep them in your prayers, she was a wonderful woman.  

Daycare has been good, It had been nice having a small number of babies each day, I am able to do more things with them and enjoy the day a bit more I am greatful for my  amazing and supportive coworkers who helped out this week with the birth craziness. 

Another highlight was witnessing one of "my" babies' amazing healing after her open heart surgery as we played this morning. She is crawling and pulling up, laughing and being a stinker. You would never know she had surgery  2 weeks ago. 

Soaking it all up today, and praising God for it all. 

Thought of the day...

Midwives have skilled hands and know how to sit on them.  ~Author Unknown

Off Call adventures

Booksneeze Review: Heaven in Her Arms, By: Catherine Hickem

"Fear. It is the single greatest paralyzer of all time. It comes in many shapes and sizes. It is no respecter of persons, race or status. It can cause big men to collapse, soldiers to crumble, and nations to retreat. It has sabotaged peace, prevented healing, and stirred divisions among families" -15

I absolutely loved this book outlining some reasons why God chose Mary to raise His son. I was captivated by a side of who Mary was that we don't really see from the few verses from Luke.  The chapter 'Smart Women Know They Need Other Women" really hit home for me. Hickem writes,"In the Jewish culture, women spent a lot of time together. They walked to the well together to get water... and during that time they  would socialize and chat. They helped deliver each other's babies and would tend to the new moms  during their first several months of motherhood. Ther ewas no problem too big for the circle of women... they understood their role, trained up the younger women to assume it when the time arrived, and would remain a constant source of constant council and support throughout their lives" -81 Nowadays, we are more isolated from others, fearful of attachment, and weary of how others may see us. We are vulnerable and alone. 


This book portrays Mary as a woman of strength and character, chosen, for these vary reasons to raise the son of God. I recommend it for its eyeopening chapters and beautifully written words. 




Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

RIP Buick Century

17 senior year

school and career prep

late night Mei*jer runs 

howling at the moon

flat tires and mailbox hitting

driving miss daisy

church

off to Marquette

over the bridge, pay the toll

back and forth

Holland, the beach

let's all go to the buffet

pick up friends from the train and plane

the mall 

drive the kid

move back and forth back and forth

michigan's adventure 

adventures to nowhere special

running errands

classes and jobs

cracked windshield

babysitting 

interviews

dead batteries

don't forget to change the oil

packed to the brim 

no room for anyone

move to the city

CRASH! 

Hit at an intersection

stuff with babies, 3 in a row

midwife conferences with bumper sticker souvenirs  

pack and pack up to the brim

storage unit for 3 weeks 

empty out at new apartment

putt

putt

putt...

mechanics say the end is near

adios old friend... 

Summer Time and the Livin' is Easy...

Wow! I can't believe June is half-way over.

A lot has happened since I last blogged. I have now witnessed/assisted at 11 labors and 9 births. I am still trapped in grateful amazement that I get to learn what I love. And boy have I learned a lot. The last few births were doozies! (all is well now, all families have perfect, beautiful, healthy babies)

I am working 20-35 hours a week at the daycare center

I adore my roomies! (see picture above) :)

I am officially "off-call" until August and am busy crossing off my summer bucket list.

numero uno: I am currently sitting in a "budget" hotel in HOLLAND!!!!!! 3 days in one of my favorite places in the US, beach, friends, a wedding, meeting new babies, seeing "old" babies... sigh :)

Booksneeze Review: READ and SHARE Bible DVD

The “Read and Share Bible” DVD series introduces children to the life of Christ in a friendly animated format. “The Jesus Series: Life and Miracles” is a half hour long journey into the ministry of Jesus. Stories featured include; Jesus calling His disciples, The miracle of the loaves and fishes, Jesus healing the sick, and the Lord's Supper. 

I would recommend this DVD for the 3-7 crowd. The animation is simple yet vibrant. The stories are classic Sunday School, and would be great to introduce or review lessons in the church or home school setting. The kids that watched it with me (daycare children) seemed to enjoy it and were able to discuss what they had seen afterwards. I will admit that I got bored half way through with the repetition, but the time and pacing was perfect for the kiddos. 

Discalmer: I received a free copy of this product through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Midwifery Monologues: "Hands"

I sped down the road, dust rising behind me, as the rose-colored moon lit up the pre-dawn sky. It is a struggle getting out of bed before 8am, but when I heard the ringtone that signaled a text from the midwife. I bounced out of bed like a child on Christmas morning. 

It *might* be time. 

I had my teeth brushed and scrubs on, long before the second text giving me the go-ahead to drive out to our client's house. I tried to relax and enjoy the beautiful picture painted as the sunrise replaced the full-moon. It seemed like the drive was never ending, but in actuality, I made it much faster than the go*ogle maps estimated time. 

It was not quite time. 

After breakfast we went our separate ways and I attempted to distract myself. Knitting, napping, a “Little House on the Prairie” marathon, and the phone rang. 

It was time. 

A sweet baby boy, born in an unplanned location in the house, just as the sun set and the waning moon rose, on a crisp spring night to a strong and confident mother; passed from the womb, through the midwife’s hands and into my arms. Slippery and wide-eyed, he greeted the room with a cry of protest. We passed him through the cord to his mama, as his father declared “it’s a boy”. 

Later, as I made a trip out to the car with some of the supplies we no longer needed, I happened to glance up at the sky. The stars were brighter than I had seen in years. The Big Dipper was directly above the house, as if blessings were pouring straight from heaven onto the little house in the woods. 

I paused, breathed deeply and held out my hands. 

Hands that have done both evil and good. 

Hands that have been lifted high in worship and lowered to the ground in pain. 

Hands that have acted out of anger and out of love. 

Hands that have held on and hands that have let go. 

Hands that have scars. 

Hands that have touched the earth in 4 countries. 

Hands that have been timid and confident. 

Hands that are learning how to be patient, yet expectant and ready. Hands that shake in fear, and hands that are strong.

 Hands that had been blessed, long before they began to learn how to catch… 

and I am grateful that I am held by much bigger hands

March comes in like a Lion and out like a lamb...

I am really enjoying my new place. It is a nice sized apartment and my roomies are awfully cute :) I am living with a friend that I have known since the womb and her 2 daughters, age 4 years and 4 months.

March brought 4 new babies, all born at home, surrounded by those who love them. I am still in disbelief that this is my job! I am learning so much and growing more confident by the day. I am looking forward to the April babies, but trying my best to enjoy the lull.

My weeks consist of office visits (prenatal appointments, postpartum visits), home visits, births, and working part-time at the daycare. I have been interviewing with some new families for babysitting jobs to supplement my income as well. I am meeting so many interesting and wonderful people.

I am happy, content, and full of joy

sigh... someone pinch me... is this real life?