March comes in like a Lion and out like a lamb...

I am really enjoying my new place. It is a nice sized apartment and my roomies are awfully cute :) I am living with a friend that I have known since the womb and her 2 daughters, age 4 years and 4 months.

March brought 4 new babies, all born at home, surrounded by those who love them. I am still in disbelief that this is my job! I am learning so much and growing more confident by the day. I am looking forward to the April babies, but trying my best to enjoy the lull.

My weeks consist of office visits (prenatal appointments, postpartum visits), home visits, births, and working part-time at the daycare. I have been interviewing with some new families for babysitting jobs to supplement my income as well. I am meeting so many interesting and wonderful people.

I am happy, content, and full of joy

sigh... someone pinch me... is this real life?

"The dreamer's just a vessel..."

"The River" -Garth Brooks

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changing as it flows
And the dreamer's just the vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores.

(chorus)
And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry.

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide.

And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry.

And there's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all.

Yes I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry.

Yes, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
'Til the river runs dry.

As a child, when I would sing this song, I always thought the lyric "vessel" was "my best"... I kind of like my 4 year old self's version better even 20 years later. "I will sail my best, till the river runs dry"

24 truths as I turn 24...

1. "Love Pays Attention." -PG
2. "Hold the Space." -LV
3. "Feel your Feet on the Floor." -SB
4. "Don't Undervalue Yourself." -WP
5. "Goodbyes are just as important as hellos."-KW
6. Reevaluate the definition of strength
7. If you don't feel like doing something, you probably need to do it.
8. Knit. It won't solve the problem, but it is sure hard to feel stressed when hold a finished baby hat. 
9. It Gets Better.
10. Hold on tight to your dreams, even when others try to convince you to drop them.
11. Yes, many people come and go in life, but there are always a few that stay. If only for the simple fact that you need them and that is ok. 
12. Ask for help. 
13. Ask for prayer.
14. There is never a perfect time... Jump in. 
15. Accept grace, even when it is hard. 
16. Take every opportunity to smell a newborn's sweet head. 
17. Trust yourself, you've got this.
18. Miracles happen, take time to notice them.
19. "Choose to chance the rapids, dare to dance the tides" -Garth Brooks
20. "You do not have to be good.You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting." -Mary Oliver
21. "The same God who led you in, will lead you out" -Newsong
22. "It's hard to dance with a devil on your back, So shake him off." -Florence and the Machine
23. "Everything rides on hope"-Addison Road
24. "A baby changes everything" -Faith Hill

Moon dance... (A poem)

I am fantastically overwhelmed
                                 All in
      placing all my chips on the table
   It is an awkward dance
                stumbly,
                       bumbly
like hippos
      mimicking cranes.
Powerful emotions
        tearing the heart into healing
                                                                     Messy
                                                Beautiful
                                                                       Love
Blue toes and pink cheeks
life sustaining thick pulsing cord
                                                           eyes lock all around the room
                                                                     speaking words that cannot be heard
                   he coughs
                  softly cries
                             laughter
and oh how my heart sings
                         

Living in Limbo...

I have been camping in my parent's "Daw-ffice" (Dog room/office) since Saturday. I am looking forward to moving into my apartment in a couple of weeks, but it has not been too bad so far. Probably because I have been busy!

Saturday was spent loading vehicles, saying goodbyes in Holland, and meeting a precious 5 day old :)

Sunday brought church and a retirement party.

Monday contained a visit to the daycare that turned into working for a few hours, followed by my first office visit as an official member of the Nine Short Months birth team. I was so excited to meet this sweet 6 week old that I had felt in the belly back in December :)

Today I had an interview for a nanny position... I am not so sure about how it went.

I was also planning on going to a few office visits and home visits, but in the midwifery field you can't always plan and I ended up at a beautiful home birth. A precious 7lb 13oz, baby boy entered the world today surrounded by family. His mama was a complete rockstar! My role at this birth was charting and clean-up. It never ceases to amaze me how awesome women's bodies are and how strong their hearts.