Final Gathering

"Only you deserve my praise... Thank-you for reminding me of the "big picture" in the voices and eyes of the graduating seniors, in a time when i was letting the little things invade my life. You never fail me, even when i turn from you. You hold my life, my future, ours...in your hands. Holy, Holy, Holy are You Lord God Almighty, the whole earth is filled with Your glory!

Sometimes i wonder if maybe i only raise my hands down low in a "fill-me" position instead of up high and open in a "have-me" position is because i do not feel like i am enough for God to "have-me" or i am selfish... I am not too sure, but i noticed that tonight, i never raise my hands high... Grace is hard to accept sometimes...

This was the last Gathering for hundreds upon hundreds of men and women of God, I somehow can't shake the feeling that it may be my last too... i pray it isn't, but if it is, somehow...i think i may be able to make this one last.

I smell tulips and rotting...

The school year is coming to an end. *Heavy Sigh* I am so relieved! It has been a year of much. Much fun, much hope, much prayer, much praise, much sorrow, much pain, much searching, much finding, much, much, much. I am blessed to have much...maybe too much.

I am in one of those moods of reflection, pondering holiness...lifting my eyes to the cloud filled skys...

Lift Up Your Eyes ~Rich Hopkins

400 years we've waited for you to come and deliver us

from this mud and clayand this slavery

the promise you made to our father is ready to be fulfilled

for we're broken and bleeding needing a Savior

Lift up your eyes of Israel

Look the skies he's calling

the Savior is near

redemption is here

today is the day you're saved

and everyday we're waiting hoping to see your redemption

to be taken away from this miserable place

the whips at our back keep us moving

and sorrow has covered our face

and our legs give out,

and we're trying to shout to you

Lift up your eyes of Israel

Look the skies he's calling

the Savior is near redemption is here

today is the day you're saved

take away the shame and disgrace

lift us up out of this place

let us see your face

Lift up your eyes of Israel

Look the skies he's calling

the Savior is near

redemption is here

today is the day you're saved

College photo updates!

Nanny-ing...

It is so hard to be all that i want to be, all that i feel like i need to be, and i know that i am not the only one. I see the AIDS orphans, i need to hold them. I see the man looking for food in the dumpster, i need to feed him. I see the friend trying to hide her pain, i need to ask. I hear someone wish for something, i need to provide. The "I" is the problem... I know that we are to look to God to fulfil our needs, but i feel so pulled to respond that it has become a need that "I" need to fulfil. Re-reading this it probably doesn't make any sense sorry! I can't seem to be able to explain myself very well lately, my articulation is off, probably a sign from God that i need to shut-up a bit more and talk less cause it is not my turn...

I have been baby-sitting in Frankenmuth this weekend for an 8 year old girl, her brother was here as well. I am discovering lately that maybe the reason i love baby-sitting so much, besides my love for kids is that i love to run a beautiful household, if only for a short while. I know that things are not what is important, but it is nice to have access to the little luxuries of families that are well off, (nice furniture, big houses, wireless Internet, fancy kitchen appliances) I am happy with what i have, but someday i would love to have a home like the ones i baby-sit in.